Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
