but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
