Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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