i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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