At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she woke up with a sticky ear
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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