Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
