Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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