Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
