I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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