Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
