She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
