well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
