do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
