Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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