I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
