I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
