Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
