i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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