I love black thongs
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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