I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
