Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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