What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
