Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
