Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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