what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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