So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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