If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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