The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
