I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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