you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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