So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
