We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
