if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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