I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
