you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
the liver wants what the liver wants
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
