You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
