didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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