the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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