If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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