if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
