I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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