He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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