Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
