just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You pole danced in your parka.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize