Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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