yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
