Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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