I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
