You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
