nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
