look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
