$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
